Friday, April 13, 2007

five oh, out

It is unfathomable, beyond belief, wholly unacceptable to the feisty wild child who lives within me, but tomorrow, April 14, I will reach the unspeakable age. Five oh. I can't even say fif. . . fif. . . no, it's too hard. Five oh is the best I can do. We're going to the beach for a week, South Padre Island, and unless I hurl myself into the Gulf in a fit of despond, I will see you all when I get back.

That just seems impossible, a half century. Just yesterday, I was a 3d grader at First Lutheran Elementary, I was watching the images of Vietnam in 10-year-old horror, I was a disco queen in Houston, was fighting for the ERA and equal rights for all. I was dancing all night in the bars with my sweet gay boys, now dead for so many years. I was a black-lipped, purple-haired punk, a cowgirl, I was skirting the fringes of EarthFirst! and contemplating acts of eco-terrorism. I was in college, breaking up with him, meeting up with him, falling in love, out of love, in love. I was miserable, I was happy, I was joyful, sad, heartbroken. I was content. I got drunk, sober, drunk, and finally truly sober. How does this happen? That many years of life and it seems like the blink of an eye.

It is just the blink of an eye, an eye only slightly touched with crow's feet and those from laughter. No wrinkles, yet. The hair is colored, but nothing new there. I think upon my return, I shall be 45 again. I'll try on this age for a week and see how it goes, but 45 is sounding pretty good today. Hugs to all of you from the ancient one.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come, come Belle. A beautiful, vibrant, involved, and evolved woman like yourself is blanching at a silly number? You are so much more than any number, as if any number could minimize a thing about you, YOU! No, no, no, I ain't buyin' what your sellin sister. Time to buck up and move on, otherwise I will have to come on back and razz you some more. Like You or I even deserve to have the LUXURY of turning 50. Okay, enough. I feel for you and will give you a moment of silence...............there, better now? Now, in the imortal words of Robert Hunter, "there's nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile".

April 13, 2007 4:36 PM  
Blogger Debra said...

Congratulations and bon voyage, BABs.

I think we're right to rail against time and its associated implications. As James Lileks says: "Many boomers, however, regard the minor afflictions of life, particularly those associated with the ravages of age, as a personal affront. I'm surprised they don't form a class-action suit to sue God for mortality. If that's not a product defect, what is?"

On the other hand, you definitely sound like you deserve to be 50 -- what a great and colorful life you've had!

I'll miss you while you're gone, but am delighted you have a time out, especially in such a beautiful place.

Peace and best wishes. Happy Birthday!!!!!

April 13, 2007 5:09 PM  
Blogger evilganome said...

Sorry Lynette. Been there, done that and moved on. I can't say 50 bothered me. Being in my 50's doesn't bother me. I'm actually liking being a dirty old man. I'm more full of surprises for the young folks ;)

April 13, 2007 5:12 PM  
Blogger rodger said...

My partner just turned 60 and he's not whining nor looking too bad. In fact, he's more active than most 40 year olds I know. You my dear friend have a long way to go before you get old.

Now get out on that beach and show 'em how a rockin' 50 year old woman with taste and style plays.

Happy Birthday!

April 13, 2007 5:35 PM  
Blogger Tony Adams said...

Much milestonular happiness to you. I still can't manage any more than "fff...fff..." when asked. This started when I hit forty and now that I've sailed way past the moons of fff...fff...see, I still can't. It's really not so bad. It rather gives one license to be absurd.

April 13, 2007 6:32 PM  
Blogger Bea said...

Happy Birthday Lynette. Have FUN. Let me know if your boobs fall off. Bea

April 13, 2007 6:55 PM  
Blogger angelfish24 said...

Happy early birthday!! I know the decades are the hardest, the 30, the 40, the 50....I got a little down on the recent 40 and didn't want a my friends to celebrate it. But, it is just a number! You are only as old as you feel! I think in this youth obsessed country we just feel bad about it. But, I just look around at my friends and hubby and they are all getting older too and it is some kind of comfort. Have a great time on Padre Island and take some pics for us stuck here in rainy Washington.....

April 13, 2007 8:18 PM  
Blogger Willym said...

hey you're just a kid - when you reach 60 talk to me... oh wait a minute I'll be 70 at that point so I'll still be older than you. So as an older person - who you must listen to and respect according to old tribal traditions - I'm telling you to forget about the number, celebrate who you are, go on vacation and enjoy. And we want tanline photos!

All the best

Fondest regards


April 13, 2007 9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just checking back in to wish you a very happy birthday, and hope for an amazing new year for you. Feeling better I hope? Enjoy your time in South Padre, even though it is in the state of our criminal in chief. I hope you take pity on all us sad sappy suckers stuck at our jobs, and take some really nice photos for us to drool over. You know, hunky men in little shorts, hunky men playing in the surf, hunky men stretched out on their towels, and maybe a sunset shot or two. Yes, someone hasn't been laid in awhile. I'll add that to my wish list next to "vacation in Italy"... XXXOOO

April 13, 2007 11:01 PM  
Blogger TrixieBelden said...

Happy Birthday Belle! Think of it this way, you have the wealth of memories from 50 wonderful years! Not everyone is that rich and lucky.

April 13, 2007 11:20 PM  
Blogger LSL said...

How fun to get to celebrate you! Happy, happy 50th. You kick ass.

April 14, 2007 12:07 AM  
Blogger Debbi said...

Happy birthday. Fifty's not so bad. Thirty was the worst for me, forty was okay, it just keeps getting better and better. Besides ... what's the alternative? Enjoy your vacation!

April 14, 2007 1:26 AM  
Blogger more cowbell said...

Hey Lynette, I won't try to say nice stuff to make you feel better about the b'day. I just had a recent one, and the nice thoughts meant to somehow coax me into feeling better about it just pissed me the fuck off. Well, that's the truth. Fuck that aging gracefully shit, I just don't have it in me. (grumble, pout.)

I will, however, wish you a fantabulous b'day TRIP. Happy sunshine, happy relaxation, happy sand in your crack, happy let it all go a for a while. happy trip!

April 14, 2007 1:45 AM  
Blogger p.alan said...

Remember Lynette... Celebrate.Each.Day!

Now you have the ability to regard your actions/decisions in one of two ways. Experience, or because you just don't really give a f*ck.

Either are equally as significant.

Many happy thoughts for you today!!!

April 14, 2007 9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday gal! I can only hope that I am as cool as you when I am 50!

April 14, 2007 9:56 AM  
Blogger Red Seven said...

Fifty is the new thirty-five, dontcha know. And you look GOOD for thirty-five!!

Love ya -- and happiest of birthdays.

April 14, 2007 12:25 PM  
Blogger Lily T said...

Your post was beautiful. It's wonderful that you got to experience all these wonderful things!

April 14, 2007 2:15 PM  
Blogger Lori G. said...

Happy Birthday! You're just two years ahead of me so I can understand the mystique/horror of a number. Sometimes I can't believe I'm really 47 going on 48. But I imagine how my mother feels -- she's the mother of a 47 going on 48 year old.

I hope you had a wonderful day today! You deserve it!

April 14, 2007 7:17 PM  
Blogger thrilled said...

Hi Belle. I just found your blog on the fatfighters site. It sounds like you've had a wonderfully full life, and that is something to admire. I hope I can say the same when I reach five-oh. Take care.

April 14, 2007 8:40 PM  
Blogger Foodie Girl said...

Perhaps you should change your name from Big Ass Belle to Bad Ass Belle. You are the Five O and totally rockin it! Who says you need a number to define yourself? You are still one bad mamma-jamma!
So, you go on with your bad ass self! Have a wonderful week. Hope to see some pictures to make us all jealous of your wonderful week in heaven.

April 14, 2007 10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday and many happy returns of the day. I hated turning fifty, but it did motivate me to take charge and start eating better and exercising, so it wasn't all bad.


April 15, 2007 12:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Lynette! Belated Happy Birthday. May there be many, many more, all filled with joy and spent with those you love and who love you.
I'm turnin' fifty on the seventeenth. My take on it is this might be a good time to give up my youth and begin middle age.

April 15, 2007 7:17 AM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

Every new year is a gift and an achievement, not a burden to bear. If I'm 1/8 as awesome as you when I'm 50, I'll be extremely pleased with myself.

Happiest of birthdays!

April 16, 2007 9:01 AM  
Blogger dpaste said...

C'mon darlin', even though I didn't know you then, to me you will always be that radical gal, fighting all comers. You are as young as you feel, and it sounds like you feel pretty young.

Happiest of birthdays to you.

April 16, 2007 10:16 AM  
Blogger Michael said...

Just catching up with my blog reading today...Happy Belated Birthday! They say 50 is the new 40--make the most of it, honey! Have a great year...

April 16, 2007 1:24 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I'm going to have to hit the comments here more often -- you have some really cute fans. :) Happy Birthday!

April 16, 2007 4:18 PM  
Blogger tankmontreal said...

Fifty?!?!? You seem ageless to me. Many happy returns of the day *big grin*

April 16, 2007 5:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Baby I'll be there with you in August, and I can't believe it either. Love your writing, love your style -- I figure we have to, or get to, look at all the stuff we've had the privilege to do and to be, and be damned proud of how we used those years.

April 17, 2007 11:07 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

May the next fifty years be glorious!

April 17, 2007 12:45 PM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

Happy, happy birthday, doll! I hope your vacation rocks and you return ready to party hard and kick enough ass for a 20-year old. :o)

April 17, 2007 12:49 PM  
Blogger Honi said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.. Cant wait to see what you blog for the next 50 years of your life... HAPPY HAPPY DAY a little late I know...

April 17, 2007 1:43 PM  
Blogger tomvancouver said...

Happy Birthday Lynette, and yes, I agree fifty does sound scary, but I'm sure it will sound really good a few years from now. And if you don't have any wrinkles, you are probably one of those lucky people who will age well.

April 17, 2007 6:29 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

Happy birthday, Lynette! If you weren't fifty, and you hadn't met him, gotten drunk, been miserable, been content, you wouldn't be the remarkable person you are today and we wouldn't get to read about it on this fantastic blog. Have a wonderful week in South Padre, and if you happen to leave those five years behind, make sure you don't leave a forwarding address, too.

April 17, 2007 10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A Very (belated) Happy Birthday. I've got a decade more on me but hardly the gift to communicate as well as you do - I can only say that it only gets better and may you have many more years to enjoy.

April 17, 2007 11:49 PM  
Blogger Chris H said...

Hi and happy birthday, if a bit late.... you must tell how it really feels cos I'm only 18 months away from the big 50 too.... yikes! I found your blog via another's, you sound quite cool.

April 18, 2007 4:00 AM  
Blogger TJ said...

Happy belated birthday! I will turn the big five oh this year also. I understand how it bothers some people to get older but as for me I couldn't be happier to see that day of the half century mark and all the others that will come after that. It's all in were your coming from. Either way embrace life and those around you because they love and care for you no matter how old you are.

April 18, 2007 3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get your ass back here Belle, we miss you!

April 19, 2007 10:26 AM  
Blogger eric3000 said...

Happy birthday! Hope you had a great trip!

I'm turning a big something-oh this year, too, but I won't say which one!

April 19, 2007 7:09 PM  
Blogger TrixieBelden said...

Hey Belle, just stopped by to see what was new. Hope everything is okay.

- Trixie

April 19, 2007 8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are beautiful. Happy five oh from commenter four oh. XO

April 21, 2007 12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I oughtn't be such a stranger: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BELLE!!!

-Freddy in P'town

April 21, 2007 9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

happy happy birthday!

April 23, 2007 10:32 PM  
Blogger Nomes said...

Hey. Don't you worry about sminkles (wrinkles obtained from smiling)! They're delightful. Happy five-oath!

April 24, 2007 4:05 AM  

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