Wednesday, March 07, 2007


I've given up my man. I can't hang with him anymore. Feels like a drug, this man of mine. I have tried to just taste a little of him, just some, now and then, but I can't resist. If I have him, I use him up, scoop him up, feel like I want to eat him up. He's so divine, sometimes I just sniff him. Addictive.

It's great for a while, as long as I have him well in hand. Then comes the day he stays behind in Florida, in Mazatlan. One of the dogs carries him off from the bedside table. Then the frenzy and the craving comes and I'm strung out, drove up, needing my man Burt. Needing him. Burt. Luscious, lemony Burt. Meant for my gardener cuticles, but turned to good use on my lips. His scent, his feel, his creaminess. He's perfect in every way, but I am done with him.

I've been hooked on lip stuff for years now. Without it, my mouth felt dry, uncomfortable, oddly noticeable, making me conscious of my lips in a strange way. I've been clean for almost 10 days and it's amazing. After the first few days of feeling dry, I have a regular mouth again. If I could have kept track of this lemony man, I would have, but I kept losing him in the house. Message from the universe. Burt is crack for my lips. I love him, but I'm done.


Blogger Ms. Place said...

And just as well, dahling. Used regularly and on a daily basis, the stuff's addictive. I let my lips crack once or twice a year, but eschew Burt. He's too hard to part with.

March 07, 2007 6:08 PM  
Anonymous Tater said...

Great post! Very clever and fun to read. I must admit that I was once hooked on Karmex (sp?), and that shit was vile compared to our lemony, luscious, Burt! I was hooked on his Milk & Honey hand lotion, until I discovered Arbonne hand cream. Now I'm Arbonne dependent. Help me?

March 07, 2007 7:36 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

Oh, I just love lip goo, especially during the wintertime. Without it, I've even been known to resort to Vaseline. And I might need to give Burt a try, now that you're done with him.

(I'm not too proud for sloppy seconds, apparently.)

March 07, 2007 9:28 PM  
Blogger more cowbell said...

Well crap. I just bought some Burt's Honey in a Stick for the smackers. Just today. >sigh<

March 08, 2007 4:54 AM  
Blogger Lotuslander said...

I'm addicted to blistix, the medicated kind, but I suspect it's just peppermint flavoured lard.

March 08, 2007 3:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Crack for cracked lips!

Tell it to Burt's, and hopefully, get a case; it would be a small fee for the bee's knees.

--Freddy in P'town

March 08, 2007 8:59 PM  
Blogger rodger said...

I a Carmex devotee but Burt has been calling me like a siren. I too prefer dry and can live with it most days. However, come winter and spring I need moisture!

I'll try Burt...I love change!

March 08, 2007 11:31 PM  
Anonymous Todd said...

Love's a bitch, ain't it, Lynette? Burt was indeed a hard habit to break, it seems!

Got any Connie Lube on ya?

March 10, 2007 9:08 PM  

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