Friday, March 30, 2007

crackheads in the garden

After yesterday's rose post, a couple of folks asked why there have been crackheads with weedeaters in the garden. It made me laugh out loud, because why would a reasonably sane couple allow crackheads with power tools access to the beloved garden they've worked on for 15 years?

The fault lies in this perpetually soft heart. If I manage to toughen up for a minute and deny one at the front door, Mike scurries out the back and runs him down, offering a day's work, just to help, you know. As far as how they find us, one of the guys who works for me insists there's some kind of a transmitter hidden on the house and the shop luring them in. We do seem to get more than our share.

So that's why: they come to the door looking for work, always with a desperate story, always with the promise that they learned gardening at grandma's knee, can tell a rose from a weed, a stand of lilies from the poke that runs rampant in the spring, can see the red plastic tape delineating things to be saved from things to be whacked. I have lost countless roses, that irreplaceable stand of pink tiger lilies, peonies, viburnum, great big old lavender and rosemary plants, a rose of sharon and three clematis.

Each year I swear never again. The last crackhead of the last year cut a huge living branch off the ailing river birch, leaving the dried out dead branch I wanted removed still dangerously looming overhead. Not this year, absolutely not, and that's the story. Gotta run, someone's knocking at the front door.


Blogger Abba said...

What a shame! Those crack heads need a good crackin' over the head!

March 30, 2007 7:08 AM  
Blogger TrixieBelden said...

You are the perfect combination of someone with a good heart and a gift for storytelling! :)

March 30, 2007 7:54 AM  
Anonymous tater said...

Glad you are fully locked and loaded. We don't want no crackheads stepping over the line. I love your heart, but now I worry about your safety...:(

March 30, 2007 8:38 AM  
Blogger evilganome said...

You're lucky Lynette. You at least get to pick your crackheads. I have a community garden so we are constantly vandalized. Also, we are located in...Hmmmm...the local amusement park, if you will, so people climb over our fences. You can tell it's spring when the first used condoms come into bloom. Don't even get me going about the mad defecater.

March 30, 2007 11:42 AM  
Anonymous lynette said...

TONY STOP! someone takes a dump in your garden?????? we get condoms around the shop ~ it's right off Route 66. but shit? nasty.

March 30, 2007 11:58 AM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

I think the proper euphemism here is "free fertilizer."

March 30, 2007 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Big Fella said...

Cool, I'll be sending some of my inlaws who need some change your way, (they have plenty of experience working around my house). Can I also give them your phone number for those times when they want to reach out with a collect call from the jail?

March 30, 2007 3:14 PM  
Blogger Debra said...

I thought it was just a metaphor in the first place!

March 30, 2007 4:26 PM  
Anonymous Joe said...

Thanks for this explanation. I think. I see the crack/meth epidemic has its tentacles in Tulsa. Something about your story reminded me of stories of FDR's WPA.

Also reminded me of stories of my great-grandmother saying, "I'll give them a meal to eat, but no money: they'd just drink it up..." Bless your generous, trusting nature...

March 30, 2007 6:20 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

Aw, you big ol softie. I have a place like that in my heart for abandoned and feral cats. They now have more 'bathrooms' in my house than I do!

I am just thankful they haven't had a meeting yet to figure out a way to take over our house and make prisoners out of us.

March 31, 2007 11:40 AM  
Blogger Lotuslander said...

I see them as people who belong in hospitals rather than jails, but so many of them look and behave so erratically that they scare me more than any other type of addict. I worked with a very nice one the other day though.

March 31, 2007 12:25 PM  
Blogger CactusFreek said...

You could make a nice sign to put above your doorbell that reads something like, "No gardening needed so please don't ask!" Or "My great dane has been trained to eat traveling gardeners."
Then if someone comes to the door anyway, just tap the sign and shut the door :o)
You can do it. Think of the lillies!!!

I spend ages in my garden, and i could absolutly not let some stranger in it!! The thought of it makes me cringe! lol

April 01, 2007 1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yet you seem to know when it is time to let an employee go. (judging from previous posts...) As long as you're armed, says this 2d amendment exception to the flaming liberal stereotype...

But still flaming, and generally liberal...


April 01, 2007 5:54 PM  

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