Thursday, March 08, 2007

forgiveness

This morning's quote comes from a painful, touching, hopeful post by Tater. This kindred spirit I've never met writes about wounded childhood, forgiveness and survival. It's an amazing post.

Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it. Mason Cooley

For many years I thought to forgive a wrong, to let go of a resentment was to let The Other off the hook. I hung on to my wounds, kept them raw; I nurtured them, fed them massive quantities of alcohol and food and men and money. They were ravenous, these resentments, bottomless pits of need, unending, growing, taking over my life. The more I fed them, the more they needed. They were badges of victimhood, justification for every wrong I ever did to another. "If they hadn't, I wouldn't have . . ." and so the poison flowed out to consume all around me.

Letting The Others off the hook freed me in the most profound way. The process of releasing all of that anger and resentment, justified or not, let me shut the door on a past which continues to be a part of me, but no longer controls me.

I refuse to give another second, another minute, to the wrongs of others. To let go is to free myself from those chains and skip away, shouting out the ultimate "fuck you" to the world: freedom. I am at liberty, cut loose from the binding of anger, with a light spirit and the ability to look forward. What a blessing. What a miracle. Thank you Tater, for the reminder.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Tater said...

Belle,
Thank you for the kind comment on my post, and thank you for your further elucidation on the topic of forgiveness:
"Letting The Others off the hook freed me in the most profound way. The process of releasing all of that anger and resentment, justified or not, let me shut the door on a past which continues to be a part of me, but no longer controls me."

Bingo! The other thing I find compelling about forgiving and finding compassion, is that it helped me to see (in my case) that my father was a victim of this same insanity during his childhood, and had a horrible time breaking the bonds of anger and trauma inflicted upon him. Because of forgiveness, the cycle of violence has ended with me.

It is incredibly freeing, as you describe, to rid yourself of the resentments, anger, and fear. It opens the door to love.

March 08, 2007 11:38 AM  
Blogger Debra said...

And, as they say in the rooms, holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

March 08, 2007 4:25 PM  
Blogger Andrea K said...

I had to let go of my anger and resentment not only in my family, but in a toxic job, too. Once I was able to let go of those negative, draining feelings, it helped pave the way to losing weight.

Letting go is the ultimate "F" YOU, and nothing irritates a toxic person more than when you won't react to their dysfunction!

March 08, 2007 7:09 PM  

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