toothbrush

When I met my friend Mike, he had an enormous basketball-sized lump under his shirt. A big man anyway, this immense bulge was riveting. It moved independently of his body and was a wild thing when he laughed.

As these things happen, Mike and I became great friends while working the 2 a.m. shift at Florafax. He is one of the funniest men I've ever known, incredibly smart, creative, talented. We were both hiding out from the real world of work suitable to our talents, and in those late nights alone together, we developed a fine friendship and an unusual intimacy.

Eventually I heard the story of the lump. Mike had been a happy go lucky guy, living and working, having a family. A little belly pain sent him to the doctor. Uh oh, diverticulosis. Dietary changes, watching it. Got worse.

Diverticulitis developed. I am trying to recall these medical terms from 18 years ago, the "itis" and "osis" may be inaccurate, but suffice to say he got big belly pain and ended up in the hospital. Surgery to remove the infected part of his small intestine which, it turned out, had big portions of dead tissue.

Cut it out, stitched it up, closed him up and he was no better. Massive infection ~ peritonitis? I think that was it. Opened him up again. The stitched together portions of small intestine were dead and the stitches broke apart, creating massive inflammation. A horror for my sweet friend.

Colostomy and ICU for months. Another three years healing from this disaster and during that time, he developed a small lump on his tummy over the incision. The lump grew as his health improved. He was able to have the colostomy reversed and the hernia repaired, but it broke free again.

As it grew larger and larger, Mike found he could not face another abdominal surgery. Just couldn't do it, thus the seemingly living entity beneath his shirt. As giant hernias will, this one eventually strangulated ~ is that the term? ~ and he had to have an emergency surgery to repair it. The subsequent huge piece of mesh secured the bulge and he has been flat-tummied ever since. Yay Mike.

What caused this disaster? Toothbrush bristles. Three of them which, according to the first surgeon, embedded themselves in his intestinal wall and created the infection which preceded the diagnosis of divertulosis. Toothbrush bristles.

I've related this cautionary tale just to ask this: What kind of toothbrush do you use? I haven't been able to find a good one now for a year. My teeth are white and shiny, but they don't feel right, not slick enough. I've bought bristly toothbrushes with rubber insides, oddly shaped brushes, hard ones, soft ones, medium. Nothing works. Obviously, I want one with bristles firmly affixed to the head (poor Mike), but where to go from here? Is it the toothpaste? The only thing that makes them feel right is baking soda ~ nasty. I just had them cleaned and do so every six months, but something's not right. I miss my slick teeth. Suggestions?