another conversation
Husband to self: I am unhappy with myself today, feeling a little annoyed that I've accomplished nothing of late. I am lazy. Where is my wife? Ah, there she is.
Husband to wife: What are you doing. Are you ever going back to work? You need to get something done today.*
Gentlemen: Explain this to me, please. What is it with y'all that you get irritable with yourselves and lash out at your devoted, loving, perfect, exemplary, charming wives? What is this thing? Is it something genetic? Is it located on that extra trio of extremities y'all have? Is it the triune nature of those bits of flesh that cause you to believe in your own divinity? It seems that something occurs which causes the central character of the trinity to migrate toward the noggin. Explanation, please. A longsuffering (at least two hours of dickheadedness) wife awaits.
*And I actually have been working of late, which is why it makes me want to whack him.
Husband to wife: What are you doing. Are you ever going back to work? You need to get something done today.*
Gentlemen: Explain this to me, please. What is it with y'all that you get irritable with yourselves and lash out at your devoted, loving, perfect, exemplary, charming wives? What is this thing? Is it something genetic? Is it located on that extra trio of extremities y'all have? Is it the triune nature of those bits of flesh that cause you to believe in your own divinity? It seems that something occurs which causes the central character of the trinity to migrate toward the noggin. Explanation, please. A longsuffering (at least two hours of dickheadedness) wife awaits.
*And I actually have been working of late, which is why it makes me want to whack him.
posted by BigAssBelle at 2:49 PM
10 Comments:
The pure psychological explanation is that most people live by denial and projection -- denying things in themselves and projecting them onto others. As a wife, you're the closest other, but also, unfortunately, the least deserving. There must also be something in there regarding convenience over justice, but I don't want to completely take over your blog with psychobabble.
Belle,
Assuming that your interpretation of the "Husband to Self" conversation is accurate and correct, I think you might be on to something in terms of a difference between men and women.
See, when little boys play, they often play games like "King of the Mountain," where there's a winner and a whole lotta losers. Little boys learn very quickly that it's good to be the winner, and bad to be the loser.
When little girls play, they often play games like "Tea Party," where there's no winner and no loser, just two friends enjoying each other's company. They learn to talk to one another, and gain a lot of practice in articulating their thoughts.
When little boys and little girls grow up and beging playing with each other (ahem), little girls often bring to the relationship a set of skills that include self-knowledge, self-awareness, and the ability to express one's feelings. Little boys bring a sense of competition. Often, little girls complain: "Why can't you just listen to me without always trying to FIX it??!!" -- not knowing that in the mind of the little boy, hearing about a problem is the same thing as presenting him with a challenge, and fixing it is the same thing as WINNING.
In your situation (again, assuming that you know your hubby's mind), it's difficult for the little boy to say, "I am not happy with myself today" (because that would be LOSING), so instead, he gets all Freudian and shit and projects all of his own insecurities onto the nearest moving object. That would be you. Voila! Now he's WINNING again, and life is good.
That's my theory, anyway. That, or we really do have idiocy chips in our genitals. That works, too.
Cheers,
Eric of the Red Seven
he gets all Freudian and shit and projects all of his own insecurities onto the nearest moving object. That would be you. Voila! Now he's WINNING again, and life is good.
and the idiot chips . . . hysterical, eric :-)
Testosterone -- it's a dangerous thing. As are those pesky internalized gender roles. I think men still are under so much pressure to be the provider, the head dude, the "strong" one, the one who's not supposed to express insecurity or show weakness. Focusing on you takes the focus off feeling like a slacker.
If it comes with a penis, you're going to have problems, honey.
Eric:
Excellent explanation!!
especially liked the 'idiot chips'!
Perhaps they're made from testosterone?
BJ.
You know its isn't just a guy or a str8 thing. My long-time colleague and I were talking the other day at coffee - Molly and I have worked together for almost 30 years, first at Air Canada now with the Government. We're both of Irish extraction, both have tempers and both can be totally irrational. She discribed a heated session she had with her husband and I responded with a tension-fraught telephone conversation I had with Laurent.
After we had both finished she very quitely asked: Why do we say cruel things that we would never say to anyone else to the person we are suppose to love?
Good question Molly. Because we know they will either ignore or accept our vitriol because they love us? Or mabye its because we are total idiots? There are days when I'm sure its the later.
Go ahead, whack him. It will make him feel better too.
Just kidding. My ex was a bean counter. He would tally how many times I did him a favor vs. how many times he did me one, regardless of the quality of the favor. If the scales tilted in my direction, he'd start yelling.
A-hole.
So what is it with men?
Thing is, to unload myself a bit, he left me, not the other way around.
So, what is it with women?
oh ms. place, you are precious. i just don't know. what is it with us?
Once again, I learn that I really must be a man.
Will you pay for my T?
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