conversation
Part of the process of implementing the recovery in It's Not About Food is to pay attention to real hunger, to find that elusive sensation of being full, and possibly of most importance, to eat what you want to eat.
This is, of course, anathema to me, a career dieter. I am trying, though, and I'm liking the results. So this was the morning's conversation between Dieting Me and Recovering Me:
Recovering Me: I think that's real hunger there. What to have for breakfast?
Dieting Me: There are those 200 calorie protein shakes, how about one of those.
RM: I don't know, what about some raisin toast?
DM: TOAST??? Bread?? Are you kidding????
RM: Nope, raisin toast sounds good. Maybe a piece of fruit, cup of milk. It's whole wheat raisin, if that makes you feel better.
DM: Hardly, wheat is poison. Look at the carbs in that breakfast, are you insane?
RM: Let's add some butter to the toast.
DM: Freaking BUTTER??? 100 calories a tablespoon???? Well . . . I guess it's okay on Atkins, but not that bread or that banana you're eyeballing. Or the milk. Oh hell, if we're going to have toast, make two slices. Two toaster slots, two slices of toast. It comes in pairs. Bread is always paired up, just like the animals in the Ark, two by two.
RM: I think I'll just toast one and see how it goes. Can have another any time I want, I think one's probably enough.
DM: If you're going to eat toast, it comes in pairs, that's all. One is not enough, it will never be enough. If you're going to eat bread it's going to set you off and you'll end up eating the whole loaf and a stick of butter too.
RM: It's okay, you can trust me. It really is going to be okay.
And maybe it is. Just for this moment, it is.
This is, of course, anathema to me, a career dieter. I am trying, though, and I'm liking the results. So this was the morning's conversation between Dieting Me and Recovering Me:
Recovering Me: I think that's real hunger there. What to have for breakfast?
Dieting Me: There are those 200 calorie protein shakes, how about one of those.
RM: I don't know, what about some raisin toast?
DM: TOAST??? Bread?? Are you kidding????
RM: Nope, raisin toast sounds good. Maybe a piece of fruit, cup of milk. It's whole wheat raisin, if that makes you feel better.
DM: Hardly, wheat is poison. Look at the carbs in that breakfast, are you insane?
RM: Let's add some butter to the toast.
DM: Freaking BUTTER??? 100 calories a tablespoon???? Well . . . I guess it's okay on Atkins, but not that bread or that banana you're eyeballing. Or the milk. Oh hell, if we're going to have toast, make two slices. Two toaster slots, two slices of toast. It comes in pairs. Bread is always paired up, just like the animals in the Ark, two by two.
RM: I think I'll just toast one and see how it goes. Can have another any time I want, I think one's probably enough.
DM: If you're going to eat toast, it comes in pairs, that's all. One is not enough, it will never be enough. If you're going to eat bread it's going to set you off and you'll end up eating the whole loaf and a stick of butter too.
RM: It's okay, you can trust me. It really is going to be okay.
And maybe it is. Just for this moment, it is.
posted by BigAssBelle at 2:01 PM
5 Comments:
I know what you mean about "toast comes in pairs" and a lot of other weirdo things that the mind does because it's rigid.
Your breakfast sounds wonderful to me. I love raisin toast with real butter. Hope you enjoyed it.
Raisin toast is wonderful. That book sounds good, too. There is something about dieting that always made me gain more weight after losing whatever it was I lost on the diet. The diet was temporary, unrealistic, and then I would eat more. I was classic example of the "you gain it back plus five" theory that was going around for a while. But I started gaining it back plus ten. I like the conversation. For a while, I used to write out thoughts in two columns, my thought, and then the "healthy voice" or whatever I called it, that talked me through my insanity.
Excellent conversation!
I do a lot of this talking to myself. One recent post I made to my own blog involved making sure I'm thinking rationally. Feel free to take a look.
Ha! Brilliance!
"DM" is a bitch, and she's not going to go away quietly ... but keep reasoning with her.
(This was priceless, truly.)
It's been really hard for me give up the toast in pairs thing. But when I'm putting peanut butter on top, it's crucial I only eat one :)
And man, you should hear the inner dialogue I have all day, every freakin' day about the food I eat. I hate obsessing over it like that.
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