eating

So the eating thing is good and it's bad, it's marvelous and it's terrifying. I feel my tummy and think "I'm losing weight," and I remember the times I've been fooled into thinking so while I've steadily gained.

Afraid to weigh, afraid not to weigh. One month into this deal and it still feels like truth and freedom, but it's just scary as hell to give up my dieting life. Having done so with some success these last few weeks, I am surprised to find that there's energy for other things. I've revamped work so I can work less, accomplish more. I'm working out more, enjoying it like I used to, as if the pressure's off. Finally got through all of the business paperwork that was taking up the dining room table. Mike and I are going for long walks in the evening. I feel peaceful, content. Is this living? Feels like it. In between the scared, it feels like heaven.