Thursday, May 17, 2007

full blown instant relapse

On this nondieting thing. Absolutely stunning in its intensity and fueled by contact with a friend who's in the same liquid diet program I was in two years ago. She left and I went into a frenzy writing down every morsel of food I'd eaten during the day, planning how I was going to burn up 500-800 calories at the gym, what to eat tomorrow, how much I could lose by whenever, when should I weigh, have I gained weight and on and on and on. This madness is so deeply ingrained it may never go away. I crave dieting like I crave chocolate.


Blogger hellojed said...

I was obsessed for years with controlling my weight, food intake, and would make lists like the ones you're talking about. I no longer do it - and by the sound of things, you're on the way to curing yourself. Best of luck.

May 17, 2007 10:15 AM  
Blogger lisalgreer said...

(((Lynette))), Sorry you got so triggered. I find that eating for recovery has changed my brain chemistry. Even the folks who used to trigger me worst and make me feel awful about myself, desperate, like I needed to do something NOW don't have much effect on me (read: my mom who is a dieting maniac, sugar sensitive, etc). I can just sort of laugh and realize that they are deeply imbalanced and thank God I don't have to live that way anymore. I can be nice and move on in my plan in doing what works for me to handle my sugar addiction.

This desperation and obsession really is biochemical-- desperation about quick fix dieting, weight, looks, all of that. It really can change just by good nutrition. This isssue right here is why I quit non-dieting after a year and a half. I so wanted to feel free, but I never did get free of these demons. Just eating what I wanted didn't do it. It didn't change my biochemistry or the way my brain worked. If that makes sense...

May 17, 2007 10:17 AM  
Blogger evilganome said...

I am glad to hear you are maintaining a grip. I am still just trying to eat sensibly and keep up the exercise. I am letting the fat take care of itself and trying to maintain a skeptical view of fad diets. I was just listening to a report on gluten, which has been getting such a bad rap for the past few years. Only a fraction of 1% of the population of the planet suffers from gluten intolerance, the rest are all "self diagnosed" and the health food industry just feeds on the hysteria. I mean, remember oat bran?

You will be fine, because you are not going to fall for anyones tricks for too long, not even your own.

May 17, 2007 1:54 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

Are you back in recovery? If so ... doesn't it sorta almost feel good to reflect on the dieting madness and be glad to be rid of it?

Good for you, Lynette ...

May 17, 2007 3:22 PM  
Blogger Andrea K said...

I understand. My husband's now on Meridia and has lost 10 pounds, and I often fight the urge to call my doctor and ask for a prescription.

We're programmed to look for the easiest way to do something, and there always seems to be an industry dying to take advantage of that: whether it's microwavable macaroni or cheese, touchless car washes or the countless "lose weight quick" schemes on TV, radio and anywhere you can place an ad.

While the touchless car wash is pretty innocuous, most of the other "too good to be true" offers out there are just that. The quick and easy food is usually the nutritional equivalent of styrafoam. And in the diet industry it's even worse: the pills with side effects, the surgeries with deathly complications, the diet plans that lead to deprivation and bingeing.

You and I have begun to realize the folly of staying on the diet bandwagon. But it's hard to resist the temptation of a new weight loss plan, because there's always the change that it might work.

It reminds me of my daughter when she goes to the carnival. Even though I tell her the games are set up to take her money, the flashing lights, energetic music and cajoling carnival workers always convince her that this time she'll win the big prize.

Hang in there. I'm convinced we're on the right track.

May 17, 2007 5:18 PM  

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