Sunday, June 10, 2007


Oh the shame. I think, or maybe it's residual anger. Took the grandkids to family swim at the health club. It's over at 4:00. At 4:01, the two high spirited little boys were getting out of the pool, laughing and splashing each other and some geezer starts shouting at them from across the room. Then he starts in on "their parents don't care what they do, they're just little animals, they're not even supposed to be in here, ought not to have any family swim, this is ridiculous" and on and on ad nauseum.

I think it was the "animals" thing that got to me. My grandbabies are of mixed race. My health club is lily white upper crust-ish. Writing this, I'm pretty sure it was the animals remark that set me off. Plus the fact that the old bastard just wouldn't quit. So I turned on him like some kind of foul-mouthed wolverine and let loose. That is not something I do, but the strangest thing happened when that old fuck wouldn't let up on the little boys: it was if my head suddenly expanded and it actually got physically hot in there, and then bleeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh, right out the mouth, all of that fury, just like that crusty faced wench in The Exorcist.

It was awful and I shouldn't have done it and I have much better control than that 99.999% of the time. He could have been ranting at me and I'd have turned on my heel, given him a shattering look of complete disdain and left him floundering in the pool. And worse, Jackson said to his mother, "Mama! Grandma Net hollered at that man!" I didn't holler. I was hissing, like a crazed, possessed thing, venomous improprieties like motherfucker and bastard flying off my tongue. Fine role model I am. I have to stop cussing. Have to.

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Blogger JessiferSeabs said...

I love that you actually categorized this post under "old motherfuckers," as if there is a whole littany of posts by you about old motherfuckers. Ha!

You know what? they're your little ones. I would have let loose too. I grew up in a "lily white" suburb of Mpls, and my aunt marreid a black man and they have 2 beautiful daughters (yes, thsi is the uncle who has pancreatic cancer), and even during the preteen / teen years, I use to GO OFF anytime somebody said ANYTHING about my family and it's mixed raciness. I mean, it was REALLY lily white -- I graduated in 1996 and there was only 1 black kid in my class, and he was adopted and had white parents.

I feel ya.

June 10, 2007 6:29 PM  
Blogger hellojed said...

It just has to be done sometimes. I'm sure the old bastard will think twice before picking on kids again when he's having a bad day. You're a hero woman!

June 10, 2007 6:43 PM  
Blogger more cowbell said...

I can understand why you regret the whole wolverine deal there, but I more understand why you went off in the first place. And you know, I think those kids will more remember the fact (and the feeling) of you having their backs, of you not letting that shit slide, of you holding someone accountable for an ignorant comment, than they will the fact that Grandma cussed or hollered.

To me, this modeled your belief that crap like that is not acceptable. It modeled standing up for yourself and others. It modeled calling people on their shit. And it let them know you're in their corner. Kids of color really need their families advocating for them, and that's what you did.

Cursing and hollering, well hell, we all do it. Teachable moment -- talk to them about your regrets, but they'll still see that Grandma had their backs.

Last summer, my eldest daughter and my son were at the pool. Some little 8 year old kid called my son the N-word. My daughter was so stunned, she froze up for a minute, then went marching off after the little snot to let his mom know that shit was not OK. By the time she caught up, Mom was driving off with him in the car. She'd have loved the opportunity to holler, I'll tell you that.

You go girl, that old crotchity motherfucker needed a boot in the ass.

June 10, 2007 6:52 PM  
Anonymous Brion. said...

Oh time take video!!!! we need to see this....not!

I've often been in a similar situation where the brain just seems to take over reason and before you know it the mouth has followed!!

Whilst it can sometimes feel good whilst it's happening, adrenaline rush and all,the 'come down' afterwards just makes me feel 'limp'!

Big hugs,


June 10, 2007 7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your grandkids will thank you. Sooner & later, darling. Trust me.

June 10, 2007 8:18 PM  
Blogger Dusty said...

BaB..I am of mixed race(anglo and hispanic) but usually the brown part of me isn't noticed as readily as the anglo background. I can NOT stay quiet when some jackass starts going off on mexicans for no reason other than their skin color. When I drop the bomb that I am hispanic, you can see them physically cringe and become embarrassed. But, that doesn't stop me, I give it to them with both barrels.

Racism should not be tolerated on any level. Its no different than calling African American's monkeys. Yes, perhaps you could of told him to screw off in slightly less colorful language, but hey...

Fuck the old bastard, he deserved it.

June 10, 2007 8:52 PM  
Anonymous ewe said...

Some people deserve it Lynette. I do it and feel bad not because i let them have it verbally but because i lost control of myself. But as i said they probably deserved it. You just woke them up out of their dead sleep momentarily.

June 10, 2007 9:17 PM  
Anonymous Kamrin said...

Go Granny!!!!!! I am proud of ya! I think everyone else has already hit the highlights of what I would say beyond that! I am proud I know ya!

June 10, 2007 11:26 PM  
Blogger lisalgreer said...

Don't feel too bad, Lynette. Just think, that could have been the first time the old bastard got what was coming to him. He's probably not used to people facing him down and telling him off for his racism and hate. :) You go!

June 11, 2007 1:31 AM  
Blogger evilganome said...

Good for you. There's an old saying. There are some people you just can't be nice to! I had dinner last night with a friend of mine who's Korean. We wound up talking about racism over dinner and the problems he faces every day. It's something that just shouldn't be put up with. The old motherfucker had it coming, and I think you were probably speaking to him in the only language he understands.

June 11, 2007 8:19 AM  
Anonymous tater said...

I'm sorry. I have been laughing out loud for five minutes! I was picturing this douchebag's face as he listened to the tirade coming out of the mouth of this pleasant and nice looking Belle. Hope he was wearing a mortified expression! While it is never pleasant to lose one's cool, especially in front of loved ones you are setting an example for, it happens. I'm sure you felt awful for losing control, (control is a very difficult subject for me, being an addict and all)but the motherfucker had it coming. I echo the sentiments expressed previously, that the kids will value seeing you stand up for them like the mother bear you were at the moment. I watched my grandma do the same thing in reaction to a racist asshole, and it taught me a lesson I still respect all these years later. I believe it to be far worse when good people do or say nothing in regards to wrong and damaging behavior. Next time, try a wry smile, a chilling lowered voice, and glaring death eyes, as you say the exact same fucking cuss words. The old fuck will fill his depends, and you won't feel bad for losing it. God I wish you had audio!

June 11, 2007 9:10 AM  
Anonymous Kamrin said...

Tater! Yo umade me shoot milk out my nose! A little warning before "the old fuck will fill his Depends" next time! So true though!

June 11, 2007 9:20 AM  
Anonymous Michele said...

There is nothing (at all) wrong with furiously hissing while cursing at evil.
I had a run in once upon a time with a 6'5" drunk with a sidekick named "Commando" on the rugby sidelines. After I (finally) called him out - he backed down.
The next day my son said, "Mom, you really handled that bully well." They pay attention.

That said, Tater's recipe for chilling delivery is equally effective ...

June 11, 2007 11:12 AM  
Anonymous lynette said...

y'all are a bunch of rowdies too :-) happy to hear it. the last time i went whacko was on the stupid old fuck who left my friends' tag sale mumbling about faggots because they were selling a bunch of their drag dresses and wigs.

that one ended up with a dent in his hood from my fist. this guy ~ it would have been sooooo easy to just step on his head and hold him underwater at the edge of the pool. he was paralyzed from the waist down.

why do i always imagine that people who have surmounded difficult things in life have bigger hearts?

June 11, 2007 11:26 AM  
Blogger eric3000 said...

Just wish we had a transcript of you ripping that old fart a new one.

June 11, 2007 11:30 AM  
Blogger SubtleKnife said...

Yes please! I'm always looking to increase my English vocabulary!

If someone really pushes me too far I turn into my alter ego, the Ice Princess. She's just like Tater described.

Funny, because I was just thinking about posting a blog about losing my cool (although over a FAR more trivial matter...)

June 11, 2007 1:16 PM  
Blogger angelfish24 said...

It is a bummer you lost your control and cussed but it happens to everyone. At least you stood up for your grandkids and this guy got something to think about. I get tired of old arseholes spouting their crap, they are everywhere. They get so crabby when they get old. They really can't remember what it was like to be a kid and have fun.

June 11, 2007 1:49 PM  
Blogger Willym said...

Hope the silly old fool's mouth fell open so wide he dropped his false teeth in the pool!

You think you could have done it in a more refined way, well he could have registered his complaint in a nicer manner too - and he got what he gave and... hehehe... from the sounds of it more.

I definately want you on my side in a battle Lady.

June 11, 2007 4:45 PM  
Blogger David said...

You did the right thing in a way that was less than ideal. It happens.

While it feels better to rant at someone who has stepped over the line, it is actually less effective then humiliating them in a way that leaves you on the higher ground. I'm surprised you didn't learn more of the art of the withering dismissal from your (sadly long gone) gay boys.

I find saying things, even the most awful things, in a frighteningly even tone is a good start. From there, work on holding your tongue until you can give a more effective response. Such as, "It's interesting that you think my grandsons are animals, considering you appear to the type that enjoys sexual relations with them." And leave it ambiguous as to whether you mean with animals or your grandkids.

Often these responses come to us the next day, but if you work at it, they become handier.

June 11, 2007 5:46 PM  
Anonymous lynette1 said...

well that's it, david, i was abandoned by my gay boys in my formative years. i didn't have enough training.

June 11, 2007 6:45 PM  

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