vandals
Little fuckers have been tagging my warehouse building for the last week. I've been hearing them on the roof when I'm working late, now they've broken out the windows on the north side of the building. It would be near impossible to get in and the alarm would certainly go off, but the thought of little shits running amok amongst the armoires and china cabinets and stained glass and ancient old beds gives me the shudders. I've a notion to plant my ass on the roof tonight with a shotgun, go all crazy on the little bastards. Kind of like these bad girls, who remind me so much of high school.
Heh. My stepmother just called and in the course of discussing the little shits' attack on my building, she suggested I stake it out with a gun. This is the same proper woman who ran off one of my boyfriends with a pistol. Still wild at 75.
Heh. My stepmother just called and in the course of discussing the little shits' attack on my building, she suggested I stake it out with a gun. This is the same proper woman who ran off one of my boyfriends with a pistol. Still wild at 75.
Labels: fucking vandals, shoot the bastards
posted by BigAssBelle at 10:15 AM
12 Comments:
Oh to be young again, and strike such "adult" poses. I got an extra kick out of the little girl trying to look bad ass with the cigarette in her hand (she obviously just took up the habit). Have you thought of stringing razor wire around your roof? Make sure it reaches up to testicle level. Maybe one of those signs "this building is protected by Smith & Wesson". I would stop just short of camping out on the roof with a shotgun though. Don't want my Nette arrested for manslaughter...
I'm with Tater . . .some razor wire.... Sorry to hear it. Like you need MORE to worry about.
Two words...Rock Salt.
Great song but there's nothing funnier than good girls trying to play bad!
Electrified razor wire? I'm just thinking out loud here.
Better yet sic your stepmother on them!
How about pouring some grease on the roof and then sitting on the back porch with some popcorn to watch the fun? Though Willym and Tater may be onto something with the razor wire.
Gotta love your stepmother.
Ooh, careful! Don't want to have the Tulsa World blaring headlines like, "Crazy Rooftop Shotgun Woman Arrested After Threatening Children". Haha. Seriously, hope you figure out a way to keep the little fuckers away. How about some super bright lights with motion detectors out around back?
Lynette -
Sorta off-topic, but did you see the pumpkin map at Strangemaps.com?
http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/2007/11/14/202-united-pumpkins-of-america/
It made me think of you and how you might characterize the strange hole in the middle of Oklahoma.
damn huntington. oklahoma has an asshole right in the middle of it!
Lynette,
I'm a Midwestern Babe from the great state of Kansas. I was an excellent marksman in the U.S. Army, and I own several shotguns. I'm now living in the gorgeous Adirondacks in upstate New York; nevertheless, have your people call my people should you ... uh ... need some help with this situation.
;-)
Lori
Just let a badger loose in your garage when you're not there. Or a rabid raccoon. That should cure the problem.
hahaha, I like the badger idea.
Little bastards. their mamas didn't raise them right.
Three words-
Big Ass Dog.
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