gay penguins? the best daddies of all

Sweet little waddling men, all dressed up in formal black and white and ready for fatherhood.

Money quotes from the Daily Mail:

'We decided to give them two eggs from another couple whose hatching ability had been poor and they've turned out to be the best parents in the whole zoo,' said one of the keepers. . . .

Wildlife experts at the park explain that despite being gay the three-year-old male birds are still driven by an urge to be fathers.

'One of the responsibilities of being a male adult is looking after the eggs. Despite the fact that they can't have eggs naturally, it does not take away their biological drive to be a parent,' said one.

One campaigner who did not want to be named welcomed the move and said: 'It wasn't fair to stop them becoming parents and keep them apart from all the other birds just because of the way nature has made them.'

But the best take of all is from Shakesville, where Miss Melissa astutely observed:

And all I could think when I was reading this story was how extraordinarily fucked up it is that, if you want to be a parent, you're better off being a gay male penguin in China than a gay male human in Arkansas.

Indeed.

hate wins out

I could never say this half as well. I am grateful for Digby's ability to put into words what the victory of hate over love means in California:

How people can vote for the first African American president in American history, with all that implies, while simultaneously voting to discriminate against gays is testament to the incoherence of American politics and the lack of clear cut philosophy guiding people's choices. Everyone says there's too much ideology in our politics but I'd say there isn't enough. There isn't enough common sense either. Discrimination against others just because you don't like how they live their lives is against the very essence of the two pillars of America --- liberty and equality. To fail to see that even as you vote for an historic, important first African American is incoherent.

I keep hearing about how this will right itself in the long run, that it's just a matter of waiting until this new generation gets old enough and then gay rights will magically be "granted." I hope that's true. But to paraphrase a saying that's been overused lately -- in the long run all of today's gay partners and gay parents will be dead. These soothing tones of "patience" and "don't worry" don't mean much when you consider that you only have one life to live.

It's terrific that we are seeing a decline in racism to the extent that we are able to elect a black president. We've come a long way and there's no taking anything away from those who waged the struggle over all these centuries. But our society is not truly changed if it's still writing discrimination into law.

It's as if we just can't be America unless we are taking active steps to marginalize somebody.

Go read. My joy over the rejection of right wing ideology by the majority of people in this country is profoundly tempered by the sickening triumph of hate in California.

and one more thing . . .

NO on Proposition Eight. NO. No. It's not that hard, is it? Practice love, compassion, kindness, acceptance of others. Say NO to judgment, condemnation, otherness. If you live in California, I am keeping my fingers crossed and saying a prayer for love to win out. And for my friend, Bob, once more.

willym & laurent's wedding

As requested, Willym has posted about his wedding to Laurent, which takes place in just a few minutes. It is a beautiful post and, though it left me in tears, they were good tears. Refreshing on a day in July when it seems the world is ending. Maybe love will carry us through in the end.

for willym and laurent

After 29 years of shacking up, Willym and Laurent are getting married July 21. I wonder if it will last? (I kid, of course.) Congratulations are in order for the two of them who are, shortly thereafter, moving to Rome. Such glamorous lives!

i want to go to this guy's church

And he speaks with a southern accent to boot!

perhaps this will swing the wingnuts?

Such money to be made on gay marriages! This is what's been missing from the discussion: hard facts regarding the benefit of marriage for all. Couched in these simple terms, the most ardent wingnut should be swayed.

white house recognizes gay parents

And right wing nuts despair. Read and rejoice.

We erred in blaming the liberal media (USA Today) for the caption describing the photo of Dick and Lynne Cheney and their new grandson, Samuel David, born to self-identified lesbian Mary Cheney.

It turns out that the caption — identifying both Mary Cheney and her lesbian partner Heather Poe as Samuel David’s “parents” — was the official work of the White House, a point eagerly seized upon by homosexual blogger John Aravosis. In the link below, Aravosis exults in the White House photo as proof of President Bush’s official embrace of “gay” parenting. Of course, the Cheneys’ grandson does not have two lesbian “parents” but one — Mary Cheney, whose lesbian partner, Heather Poe, only creates an artificial, fatherless “family.”

From Americans for Truth (hard to type that without my fingers seizing up), a "newly reorganized national organization devoted exclusively to exposing and countering the homosexual activist agenda."

all the benefits of marriage

Just for you guys . . .


Video tip-off from Gay Men Rule.

this makes me want to puke

This jackass ~ Michael Savage ~ has eight million listeners a week.

"I want to puke when I hear about a woman married to a woman raising children because, frankly, I think that it's child abuse to do that to children without their permission. What does a child know? Ask them when they're 16 whether they want to be raised by two lesbians or two men. What are the two men doing behind the other wall? You think the children don't hear it?"

WTF? I worked with kids and families for 16 long years and I can say with certainty that the most important thing kids need above all else is to know that they are loved and protected and safe. Food and housing are good, but kids can live through a lot if they are loved. Unless we bring up kids in an atmosphere of hate, I doubt there would ever be any question about why Billy has two mommies and Suzie has two daddies and Jack has one of each.

Media Matters has contact information for this asshat and an audio clip. Surely some man, somewhere, has done this guy?

But it's not all good . . .

So much emotion and tension and energy caught up in the reclamation of America. It's hard to come down, but as I'm coming in for a soft landing, I am reminded that despite sweeping changes in the House and Senate, my gay friends still cannot marry their lifetime loves. Straight woman that I am, I can only try to imagine how that must feel. I'm blanked out on words, so I'm repeating in honor of the GLBT community this bit I wrote last summer. It bears repeating and with it I am expressing my hope that one day, one day soon, love will win out.

I talked with my friend today and he told me he had recently suffered a bout of depression. It finally lifted, and he was again able to find pleasure in simple things, in the life he has made with a woman, in his new grandchild, his daughters.

When I talk to him, I can't help but feel sad that he had to give up an essential part of himself in order to have the things he wants. My friend is almost 60 years old. He grew up a southern boy in the wilds of Louisiana. He knew he was gay from a young age, yet he yearned to have children and surely felt a pressure to conform to the normalcy of a small southern town in the '50s.

He did all the right things, excelled at school, was a cheerleader in college, met an Indian princess and fell in love, as best he could, when he was longing in his secret heart to find his prince. He wanted children and he's a marvelous daddy. His daughters adore him and the new grandbaby is all he's ever wanted. Almost.

He adores his princess, too, and their relationship is filled with warmth and respect and a kind of love. But there's something to be said for being true to oneself. Maybe there's everything to be said for being true to oneself. Maybe without that, there really is no kind of life, even if it looks really wonderful.

In all respects, my friend's life is wonderful. He has everything anyone could want, and yet he finds himself depressed and I am saddened by something in his eyes, an unutterable sorrow, even on the best of days.

With the Cheney/Rove/Bush effort to once again rally the wingnuts on the right to vote by waving the red flag of gay marriage, I think of my friend and we talk about this choice he made, the only choice he really could make at that time and in that place.

Would he have made another marriage at such a tender age if he could have? Would he have married his prince? Would adopted children have satisfied the longing he has to be a parent? Would his eyes then sparkle and be filled with the same joy I see when we are laughing and being crazy and acting out and telling stories of southern life, when he seems to be most at ease, at peace, and before he remembers that he's someone else, not himself, not truly.

Almost sixty years of denying something as basic as his sexuality. I can't even imagine it. I don't even know how one finds that kind of strength and commitment. Maybe it's simply a transaction: I give up this to get that. But what if he could have had it all? What if he could have had his prince and his children, his beloved grandson and a life of being at home with himself, able to relax his vigilance and just let go. On his own, with me, with others who know, he's a different kind of man: fully alive, magical in his humor and liveliness and as charismatic as anyone I've ever met.

When I talked to my friend today, I found myself wishing, wishing that he had married his prince instead of his princess, that their children had two daddies and the new grandbaby two grandpas. What's wrong with that? How can anything really be wrong with that? It's just love, along with commitment and honor and the selflessness that's inherent in anyone who feels so strongly about kids. The greatest Commandments are to love God and to love one another (and yes, heathen that I am, I had to look that up just to be sure). Despite what we're told, it seems that even in Heaven's view, there is nothing wrong with that. Love is everything and in this life, wouldn't my friend's love for his prince have been just as worthy a thing as the love he has for his princess?